Sunday, December 5, 2010

Change is Intriguing

Why do people change? Could it be because they want a new lifestyle? Could it be because they don't like their old lifestyle anymore for whatever reason? Could it be because they gain more understanding into the human being?

One will never know, but life is full of shit. Seriously, the worst fucking bullshit you'll ever live. How much ever people say they love their life, there is always something they'd want to change, because no one's perfect, and nothing is ever perfect. There's always something that gives people enough reason to want a change.

This is inevitable. When it comes to the case of best friends, there's always something that's so radically different that its BOUND to change someone or the other. That doesn't go to say that your best friend will ditch you should something untoward happen, its just that they just won't be the same.

No one ever will be. Lets take a look at me. I'm in my final year of my BCom, Banking and Insurance and it took me two whole years to pick up my socks and start getting decent marks. I always used to be an A+ student, but since I got to college, I decided to let up a bit on being uptight about grades and all that, and decided to enjoy. But then I realized, that this was my final year, and this warranted a change. A change from my time-wasting self to getting back to my old self where I had the motivation to get good grades finally.

It is not normal for a topper to just drop grades to such abysmal levels that he has to pick up after himself and really work hard.

After all, moving to India was quite a bit of work and I had to change quite a bit in order to accommodate the lifestyle here. I used to be the kind of person who would, like any other regular kid, study the day before the exam. Its not exactly a bad thing to do, but functions well if you attend lectures and youre just refreshing before the exam. Over two years, that wasn't the case. I'd be seeing new shit for the first time right before my final exams.

However, for my 5th semester exams for the primary part of my final year, I decided to pick up my socks and study a month in advance for all my exams. This took a lot of dedication and willpower especially for someone like me to want to study and understand all the content of my courses to the point that I want to get amazing grades in the exams. I knew I had to pick up my writing and calculation speeds for all my respective subjects. The best part was, after doing all this, I actually felt like I accomplished something in relation to my exams. All my exams went very well, and I couldn't be happier.

At this point of time, a month and a half after my exams, I have no worries about when the results will come because I'm sure mine will be great. I'm not sure I can say the same for the rest of my class.

Anyhow, the point is, why or how do people change? I know that my best friend is changing because she tends to understand things now differently and sees everything in new light. What she understands is beyond the scope of discussion but nonetheless she visualizes that understanding and the problem is, this new understanding is making her change. Can I stop it? No. Do I want to? Maybe. But then, that would imply that I'm not appreciative of her for who she is, and I don't approve change. Now, I love change, but then, if she changes as a person, how can I be sure that she won't change some more later for the worse?

The human psyche is a very complex environment and to screw with it is like screwing with God Almighty himself. Anything could go wrong. But now people change, so how does one deal with it? I just claim that people change cuz shit happens. For example, how can someone change to give more privacy to two people knowing that he matters to both of them equally? Its not fair to others who don't get the opportunity to change.

Sometimes, change from the normalcy of life is so extreme that people change to such an extent that they can't handle the change. They're just not used to this kind of stuff. Psychological bullshit I say.

It is always possible for anyone to handle change. Thats how people live to get old. There has been wonderful change in my life over the past week or so, and I'm loving every single bit of it. At certain points, its almost like burdens are lifted and one can continue living their present instead of their past. Trust is an important part of change. Nowadays, its very hard to find people who are trustworthy and who can understand and give you a definitive viewpoint on a certain change and most important of all, will stick by you with all that change.

The world changes everyday and we're all a part of it. If we didn't have trustworthy people to share that change with, we'd be insecure and unappreciative of change. But those of us who CAN change learn to deal with the past, and live in the present, and make decisions knowing the implications of what could happen in the future.

Sometimes, it helps to think logically.

If you've read this far, you mustve fallen asleep twice halfway, cuz.. Lets face it, no one really wants to read the random ramblings of a deranged, but psychologically stable Indian.

Good night.

1 comment:

  1. You spelled intriguing wrong....

    Grammar Nazi